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Difference of Men / women driving.

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Post by retired2 Sat Jul 20, 2013 8:03 pm

Difference of Men / women driving.
Check out the dog’s eyes! ! !

Difference of Men / women driving. Sent10


You cannot argue with scientific proof!
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Post by retired2 Sat Jul 20, 2013 8:03 pm

Dating Ads for Seniors...hilarious!!!
You can say what you want about Florida , but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

Ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper. (Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?) ....


-------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOXY LADY :
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'),
searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
----------------------------------------------------

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT :
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

----------------------------------------------------
SERENITY NOW :
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and
meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together,
take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
----------------------------------------------------
WINNING SMILE :
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser
to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
----------------------------------------------------
BEATLES OR STONES ?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on
Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,
let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
----------------------------------------------------
MEMORIES :
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads
together.

----------------------------------------------------
My favorite …

MINT CONDITION :

Male, 1932 model , high mileage, good condition, some hair,
many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Not in running condition, but walks well.
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Post by retired2 Sat Jul 20, 2013 8:06 pm

Feeding The Elephant...good chuckle

Just in case you thought you’d seen everything…..
Feeding The Elephant ~ OY...
This is really funny clip about two women who are feeding an elephant. You don't need to understand Chinese.
Watch the entire clip..the end is FUNNNEEEE ...!!!
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=cf7_1356505998
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Post by retired2 Sat Jul 20, 2013 8:07 pm



For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.


Watch for these consolidations in 2013:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally....

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
Titty Titty Bang Bang
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Post by retired2 Sat Jul 20, 2013 8:08 pm


SEX AT 66

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can have sex at 66.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 72.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!
~~~~~

Answering machine message,
"I am not available right now,
but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

~~~~~

My wife and I had words,but I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering
and take without forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that,
by the time you're old enough to know your way around,
you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer for her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

~~~~~

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,
are we sure this is a good time to take
God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

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