All my wife does is shop

[retired2]

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under. 

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down! So what did I do? Bought her an electric chair. 

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week. 

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried. 

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. 

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree! 

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. 

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!" 

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood. 

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it. 

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."