A small Church

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A small Church had a very attractive, big-busted organist, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.



Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.



The very proper Church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this, or they would have to get another organist.



So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly about the problem, and told her to mash up some green persimmons

and rub them over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste

any of the the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up, and you won't be able to

talk properly for a while.



The organist, reluctantly agreed to try it.



The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said ....



Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday!

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George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.


Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.


The devil smiles and replies , " Since Obama took over , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to my Mom's place."
I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold.... What the hell is she talking about?

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