The Church Lady

[retired2]

The Church Lady
The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and
taught Sunday School every week.

One Sunday an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in
the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was.

While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned
forward and said: "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"

"Why yes, that would be nice", the lady responded.

Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck.

On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest
restaurant in that part of South Carolina . When they sat down, the gentleman
looked over at her and suggested: "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"

"Oh, no," said the fine example of southern womanhood. "What
ever would I tell my Sunday School class?"

Well, the gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn't say
much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked:
"Would you like a smoke?"

"Oh my goodness no," said the woman. "I couldn't face my
Sunday School class if I did !"

Well, the man felt pretty low after that, so they left, got
in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local
Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had
nothing to lose so he ventured forth with: "Ahhh, mmmm, how would you like
to stop at this motel?"

"Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation.

The gentleman couldn't believe his ears. He did a fast
u-turn right then and there, drove back to the motel and checked in!
The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible
lovemaking imaginable, the gentleman awoke first.

He looked at the lovely Dixie darlin' lying there in the bed
and with remorse thought: "What the hell have I done?"

He shook her awake and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one
thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"

The lady said: "The same thing I always tell them, 'You
don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time.'"