Love Story

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Love Story

I will seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be
relieved when I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,


The Flu

Now get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!

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An old fella was celebrating 92 years on this earth.


He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes.", he said. "How are you? You know, you are 92 today. Oh the times we've had! Remember how we walked in the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon. The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday toes!"

"Hello, knees.", he continued. "How are you? You know you're 92 today.. Oh, the times we've had! Remember when we marched in the parade? Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy Birthday, knees."

Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello Willie! You little bugger. Just think. If you were alive today, you'd be 92..

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The Man Rules


Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" From the female side....

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers. ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you
leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

· Subtle hints do not work!

· Strong hints do not work!

· Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad
or angry, we meant the other way

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what puce is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
Basketball, Boxing, Rugby, Cricket or Motorsports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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An 86-year-old very wealthy man went

to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...





The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'
I now have a 20 yr-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
'So what do you think about that Doc?'

The doctor considered his question for a

minute and then began to tell a story.


'I have an older friend, much like you, who

is an avid hunter and never misses a season.'

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked

up his walking cane instead of his gun.'

'As he neared a lake, he came across a very

large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so

he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.



Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal

as if it were his favorite hunting rifle, and went 'bang, bang'..'

'Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead..

Now, what do you think of that ?' asked the doctor.


The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody

else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'



The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'

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The Cow, the Ant and the Old Fart

A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!"
The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!"













Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something.

[Rick Wisson]

Me being the old fart says . I get up 6 times a nite to pee so I get lots of exercise so that make me the greatest.

[growler]

good answer !

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