Prince Charles dilemma

[retired2]

Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate

when he accidentally ran over her favorite dog, a Corgi,

crushing it to a pulp.

He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass

totally distraught.

The whole world was against him and now his mother

would go ballistic.



Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground.

He dug it up, polished it and immediately a Genie appeared. .

"You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment,

" said the Genie"As a reward I shall grant you one wish."



"Well, " said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need,

but let me show you this dog." .

They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog.



"Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" the

Prince asked. .

The Genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head.



"This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life.

Is there something else you would like?"

The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and

pulled out two photos



"I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana,"

said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo.

"But now I love this woman called Camilla," and he showed

the genie the second photo.

"You see Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can

make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?"



The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said,

"Let's have another look at the dog."

[retired2]

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.



The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"



Paddy replies "I don't know! It’s your friggin plane!"

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Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off,

I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"

He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts

"I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!"

Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home"

So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.

"I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy.



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Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.



After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the

girls are getting on".

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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.

She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says

"You know what I want, don't you?"

"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!"

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Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison

service for not servicing the electric chair.

He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap

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Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog

is barking like mad in the garden.

Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off.

He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks

"What did you do?"

Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how

they like it!"

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Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have

Bluetongue.



"Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile

phones!"
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Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.



Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"



Paddy says "What's his name?"



Mick replies "Miles, from London !"