Hunting on Sunday

[retired2]

I had everything planned and had told my wife I would not be going to church with her on Sunday.
My wife reminded me that Sunday was the Sabbath Day and hunting a trophy buck should not be part of the Sabbath.

1. I scouted the area all summer.
2. I searched out the best location for my tree-stand.
3. I set it all up a month ahead of time.
4. I trailed the herd.
5. I picked out a trophy buck.
6. Two days before opening day I rechecked every aspect of the hunt.
7. Everything was in place.
8. Sunday morning, I woke up at 2 am.
9. I put on my camo, loaded my pack, set out for my stand.
10. This was destined to be an epic hunt.
11. As I approached my deer stand.




I called my wife and told her I had decided not to hunt on the Sabbath and would meet her at church. The Sunday sermon was entitled "The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways ".

[retired2]

IRISH JOB INTERVIEW

Mick had applied for a fermentation operator post, at a famous Irish firm, based in Dublin.



A Pole applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.



The manager went to Mick and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the Polish man the job."



Mick said, "And why would you be doing that?

We both got 19 questions correct."



"This being Ireland and me being Irish, surely I should get the job."

The Manager said, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong."



Mick exclaimed, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?"



Manager, "Simple. On question number 7 the Pole wrote down, 'I don’t know.'



You put down,



“Neither do I.”

[retired2]

Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic lights in
their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of
them. "Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts
one of the drunks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculate,
"I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross."
So Sister Immaculate rolls down her window and shouts,
"Screw off ye little fookin wankers, before I come
over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Immaculate looks back at the Mother Superior and asks,
"Was that cross enough?"

[retired2]

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish.
Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me!'"

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