Gentle Thoughts for Today

[retired2]

Gentle Thoughts for Today

Birds of a feather flock together...

And then shit on your car.


A penny saved is a

Government oversight.


The older you get, the tougher

It is to lose weight, because by

Then your body and your fat have

Gotten to be really good friends.


The easiest way to find

Something lost around the

House is to buy a replacement...


He who hesitates is probably right.


Did you ever notice: The Roman

Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'.


The sole purpose of a child's

Middle name is so he can

Tell when he's really in trouble.


Did you ever notice: When you

Put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS'

Together it spells 'Theirs....'


Aging: Eventually you will

Reach a point when you stop

Lying about your age and

Start bragging about it.


Some people try to turn back

Their odometers. Not me, I want

People to know 'why' I look this

Way. I've traveled a long way and

Some of the roads weren't paved.


When you are dissatisfied and

Would like to go back to your

Youth, think of Algebra.


You know you are getting

Old when everything either

Dries up or leaks.


One of the many things no

One tells you about aging

Is that it is such a nice change

From being young. Ah, being

Young is beautiful, but being

Old is comfortable.


Lord, Keep your arm around

My shoulder and your hand

Over my mouth . . . AMEN