The Amazing Scotsman'.

[retired2]

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress.
A sign read: 'Don't Miss John Campbell The Amazing Scotsman'.
The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.
Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and
Smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!

The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off
On the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a
Faded poster for the same circus and the same sign
'Don't Miss John CampbellThe Amazing Scotsman'.
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing
His act!
He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated.

This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed
On the table.
The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and
Shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.
The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after
The show.

'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know
Something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts

'Well laddie,' said the Scot, 'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be!!!!!!!!!'