A Senior on a Moped

[retired2]

A Senior on a Moped



An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks,
'What kind of car ya got there, sonny ?'

The doctor replies, 'A Ferrari GTO.
It cost half a million dollars ! '

'That's a lot of money,' says the old man.
'Why does it cost so much?'

'Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!' states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, 'Mind if I take a look inside?'

'No problem,' replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, 'That's a pretty nice car, all right... But I'll stick with my Moped !'

Just then the light changes,
So the doctor decides to show
The old man just what his car can do.
He floors it, and within 30 seconds
The speedometer reads 160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see what it could be
And suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH !

Something whips by him going much faster !

' What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari ?' the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator
And takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph.

Then, up ahead of him,
He sees that it's the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas
And passes the Moped at 275 mph
And he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy,
He floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again!
The Ferrari is flat out,
And there's nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows
Into the back of his Ferrari,
Demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, 'I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you?'

The old man whispers,
'Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!'.

[retired2]

Two guys from Newfoundland were looking at a Sears catalogue and admiring the models.

One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?'



The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful....and look at the price!'

The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second Newfie smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea!
Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.'

Three weeks later, the one Newfie asks his friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalogue?'

The second Newfie replies......


SCROLL DOWN....YOU'LL LOVE IT!





'No, but it shouldn't be long now.
I got her clothes yesterday!'

[retired2]

I just received my tax return for 2011 back from the Revenue
Canada. It puzzles me!!!
They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.
I guess it was because of my response to the line : "List all
dependents"
I replied: 2 million Native Indians; 1 million crack heads;
7.3 million unemployed people , 100,000 people in prisons;
Half of Haiti ; and 105 persons in the Federal Senate and 308
Members of Parliament.
Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO DID I MISS?

[retired2]

TERRORIST ACTIVITY HAS CAUSED THE DEMOCRATS TO TAKE MEASURES IN ORDER TO PROTECT THEIR CANDIDATE FOR THE 2016 PRESIDENCY.

FOR SECURITY REASONS, THEY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT HILLARY HAVE A MUSLIM NAME.

SO, FROM NOW ON, PLEASE REFER TO HER BY HER NEW MUSLIM NAME:



SELDOM
BIN LAYED

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