65 Years Ago.
2 posters
Page 1 of 1
65 Years Ago.
by retired2 Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:42 pm
65 Years Ago.
This is PRICELESS .............
A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.
The producers wanted a rhyme beginning With 'Carnation Milk is best of all.'
She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black car pulled up in front of her house.
A large man got out, knocked on her door and said, "Ma'am,.....The president of Carnation milk absolutely LOVED your entry.....So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!"
He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.
(Here it is:)
This is PRICELESS .............
A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.
The producers wanted a rhyme beginning With 'Carnation Milk is best of all.'
She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black car pulled up in front of her house.
A large man got out, knocked on her door and said, "Ma'am,.....The president of Carnation milk absolutely LOVED your entry.....So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!"
He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.
(Here it is:)
retired2- Bonfire Tilter
- Posts : 5986
Join date : 2012-02-24
Re: 65 Years Ago.
by retired2 Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:43 pm
An old country farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.
Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head and killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to him and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said, 'Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement.' 'And what about the men?' the minister asked.
'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.'
The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.
Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head and killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to him and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said, 'Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement.' 'And what about the men?' the minister asked.
'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.'
retired2- Bonfire Tilter
- Posts : 5986
Join date : 2012-02-24
Re: 65 Years Ago.
by retired2 Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:43 pm
Jewish & Italian Grandparents
The JEWISH Elbow
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow , push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell ."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?!!
"What!! . . . .. You coming empty handed?!!"
_______________________________________________
Wise ITALIAN Grandfather
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido , I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos . "
" Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man.
" Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say ....... 'time's up' "?!!
The JEWISH Elbow
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow , push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell ."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?!!
"What!! . . . .. You coming empty handed?!!"
_______________________________________________
Wise ITALIAN Grandfather
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido , I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos . "
" Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man.
" Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say ....... 'time's up' "?!!
retired2- Bonfire Tilter
- Posts : 5986
Join date : 2012-02-24
Re: 65 Years Ago.
by retired2 Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:44 pm
Husband takes the wife to a disco.
There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large - break
dancing, moon
walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband says:
"Looks like he's still f****** celebrating!!!
retired2- Bonfire Tilter
- Posts : 5986
Join date : 2012-02-24
Re: 65 Years Ago.
by retired2 Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:45 pm
The Newfoundland Department of Employment, Human Resources and Labour Relations claimed an outport boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out ‘round the bay to Burin to investigate him.
GOVT AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
Boat Owner: Well, there's Clar, my hired hand, he’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Lamb’s rum and a dozen Labatt Lite every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
GOVT AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
Boat Owner: That’d be me, b’y! What do you want to know?????
retired2- Bonfire Tilter
- Posts : 5986
Join date : 2012-02-24
Re: 65 Years Ago.
by growler Fri Nov 16, 2012 3:13 pm
that's the same way my boss was treated !
did he tell you that story ?
did he tell you that story ?
growler- Complaints Department
- Posts : 1652
Join date : 2012-02-26
Age : 75
Location : nhnh ! !
Similar topicsPage 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum|
|
|