Will you laugh?

[kishgo]

If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable?

[retired2]

[retired2]

A LITTLE POEM FOR GUYS...and their wives.....

Thought this was cute:)








I have a little GPS
I've had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My GPS is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice
It fills me up with counseling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off.

[retired2]

>
>
> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
>
> Cab driver picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
>
> She asks him why he is staring.
> He replies: "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you"
>
> She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
>
> "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
> She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
>
> The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!
> "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
>
> The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
> But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
> "My dear child," said the nun, "Why are you crying?"
> "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm Jewish."
> The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
>

[kishgo]

True story.
In a busy line up at the rent a car desk in Naples Florida, the gal behind the counter asked if my hubby would like a GPS. He declined. She then pushed a little further inquiring if he was familiar with the city. And he was not. She strongly suggested that he rent a GPS unless he had his own to which he said, "Yes,I do have my own."
"Oh," said the salesclerk. "What kind do you have?"
"I have a SUZQ," he replied.
"A SUZQ? I've never heard of that."
And then he pointed to me and said, "My wife is SUZQ! One woman telling me where to go is all I need."
Several people in line laughed.
Lucky for him, so did I!!

[Rick Wisson]

[gale force]

[uncle jack]

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