Golf Poem ...This sums it up nicely

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Golf Poem ...This sums it up nicely

I'm sure you've read the Golf Poem before, but there is a wonderful accolade at the end.



Golf Poem

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, Rather Small.

Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess,
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.

But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.

It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry,
I Hate Myself And Want To Die.

It Promises A Thing Called Par,
If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.

But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.

Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.

Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.

And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows .... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls.....
A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud......... Almost feel like a hybrid.

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BEST LAWYER / INSURANCE STORY OF THE YEAR.



This actually took place in Charlotte , North Carolina .

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things fire.



Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'



The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued and WON!

(Stay with me.)



Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.



Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.



NOW FOR THE BEST PART...



After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest.



ONLY IN AMERICA . . . NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE NUTS.

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