Spelling to get into Heaven...

[observer]

> A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting
> for
> Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw
> a
> beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and
>
> all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
>
> They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are
>
> you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

> When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a
> wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word,"
> Saint Peter told her.

> "Which word?" the woman asked.

> Love

> The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her
> into Heaven.

> About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her
> to
> watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
> While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband
> arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have
> you
> been?"

> "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband
> told
> her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you
>
> while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I
> sold
> the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.
> And
> my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation
> in
> Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head,
> and
> here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

> "You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

> "Which word?" her husband asked.

> " Czechoslovakia ."

[observer]

Osama Bin Laden was living with 3 wives in one compound and never left the house for 5 years.

It is now believed he called the Navy Seals himself.

[observer]

A couple has a dog that snores.

Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can
help.

The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he
will stop snoring.

'Yeah, right!' she says.

The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.

Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon
and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles.

Sure enough, the dog stops snoring.

The woman is amazed.

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking
with his buddies.
He climbs into bed, falls asleep and immediately begins snoring loudly.

The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him.

So, she goes to the closet again,

grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles.

Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps soundly.

The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As
he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue
ribbon attached to his privates.

He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red
ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the
dog and whispers

'I don't know where we were or what we did, but, by God we took FIRST and
SECOND place!

[Sponsored content]