True Friendship...

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True Friendship... SCOTTISH STYLE!! (None of that Sissy shite)



Are ye tired of those piss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship... You will see no cute wee smiley faces on this card. Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.



1... When ye are sad -- I will help you get pissed and plot revenge against the bastard who made ye sad.



2... When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.



3... When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.



4... When ye are scared -- I will shake the piss out of ye every chance I get, until you're NOT.



5... When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP YER WHINING!



6... When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words.



7... When ye are sick -- Stay tae hell away from me until ye are well again. I dinna want whatever ye've got.



8... When ye fall, I will laugh me head off at you, you clumsy arse, .......but I'll help you up.



9... This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; Because ... you are my friend.



Friendship is like peein' in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth...

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PM Harper will announce that he is ordering the Immigration Department to start deporting old people (instead of illegal's) in order to lower Old Age Pension Payouts and Medicare costs.

Old people are easier to catch, and most will not remember how to get back home!

I started crying when I thought of you .

RUN, YOU OLD BUGGER, RUN!!



Well . . . . . Someone sent it to me and I'm not going alone!!!!