An older lady named Ida

[retired2]

An older lady named Ida was somewhat lonely since her cat died and she decided she needed another pet to keep her company.So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched.


None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.



He whispered, 'I'M SO LONELY, TOO . BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME.. YOU WON'T EVER BE SORRY.'
Ida figured, what the heck! She hadn't found
anything else. So she bought the frog. She placed
him in the car, on the front seat beside her.
As she was slowly driving down the road, the frogwhispered to her 'KISS ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY..'!

So,Ida figured, WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog.

IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young,handsome prince

THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED IDA'S KISS.
SUDDENLY IDA FELT HERSELF
TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS.

CAN YOU GUESS WHAT IDA TURNED INTO? Come on, guess !!
*

*

*
*


*
SHE TURNED INTO
the first Holiday Inn
SHE COULD FIND!!!

She's old...... NOT DEAD!!!!!
OLD LADIES ROCK

[retired2]

A guy was cutting the tail off his dog. His neighbor asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

“My mother-in-law is coming to visit and I don't want any sign of welcome" He replied.

[retired2]

[retired2]

An old one but a good read

Here's another trick of Doctor Dementia to test your skills.




Can you meet this challenge?


I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, way down the road before it ever gets any where near you.







7H15 M3554G3




53RV35 7O PR0V3




H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N




D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!




1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!




1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG




17 WA5 H4RD BU7




N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3




Y0UR M1ND 1S




R34D1NG 17




4U70M471C4LLY




W17H 0U7 3V3N




7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,




B3 PROUD! 0NLY




C3R741N P30PL3 C4N




R3AD 7H15.




PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F




U C4N R34D 7H15.




To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends with 'yes' in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!


If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid, too.


Can you raed this? Olny 55 people out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

[Rick Wisson]

Gonna have to red pen you on the last one retired. I imagine like you care.

[retired2]

I care, I care -- reallly

[retired2]

shave and shoe shine



A Texan walked into a barbershop, sat on the barber's chair and said, I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."

The barber (using a straight razor by the way), began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

The Texan said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a motel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that."

The Texan said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."

She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you?!?.

[retired2]

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