A note on the fridge

[retired2]

A note on the fridge

I came home from the golf course today.

The wife had left a note on the fridge:

"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my Mother."

I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold...

What the hell is she talking about?

[retired2]

Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be.


Garfield on the oil pricing

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in Canada .

Well, there's a very simple answer,
Nobody bothered to check the oil.

We just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for this is purely geographical.

Our Oil is located in:

ALBERTA
SASKATCHEWAN
BRITISH COLUMBIA
MANITOBA
COASTAL NEW BRUNSWICK
COASTAL NEWFOUNDLAND

Our DIPSTICKS are located in OTTAWA

Any Questions ???
NO ?... Didn't think so.

[retired2]

When I was young I decided to go to Medical School.

At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS

and form the name of an important human body part

which is most useful when erect.



Those who answered spine are doctors today

while the rest of us are sending jokes via email.

[retired2]

TESTICLES AND SNORING





A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.

The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring.

'Yeah right!' she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles.

Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed.

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies.

He climbs into bed, falls asleep and immediately begins snoring loudly.

The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps soundly. The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.

He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, 'I don't know where we were or what we did, but, by God we took FIRST and SECOND place!

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