Sex After Surgery

[retired2]

Sex After Surgery


A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked ...
“How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"





The surgeon seemed to pause, and a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied ...
“Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

[retired2]

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat,
and one says to the other, "I hear that the people
in this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live

in America , we might as well do as the Americans do."

As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling,
"Hot Dogs, get your dogs here," and they both walk
towards the hot dog cart.

"Two dogs, please!," says one.

The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.

Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior is first to open hers.

She begins to blush, and then staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers......

"What part did you get?"

[retired2]

My wife being the romantic sort, just sent me a text.............


"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you x."

I replied........"I am having a crap. What should I do?

[retired2]

AMISH LADY DRIVER

"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you
that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be
dangerous."

"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it
as soon as I return home."

"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to y our horse is
wrapped around his testicles.

Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your
husband check that too."

"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home."

True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about
the broken reflector.

He said he would put a new one on immediately.

"Also," said the Amish woman, "the policeman said there was something wrong
with the emergency brake."

[Rick Wisson]

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