Observations On Growing Older

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Post by retired2 on Thu May 31, 2012 8:40 pm

Observations On Growing Older
~Your Kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are Perfect!

~Going Out is good.. Coming Home is better!

~You Forget names .... But it's OK because other people forgot they Even knew you!!!

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... Especially Golf.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's Called "pre-sleep".

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" Switch..

~You tend to use more 4 letter words ...... "what?"...."when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody Whispers.

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet .... 2 of which you will never wear.

~~~But Old is good in some things: Old songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!
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Post by retired2 on Thu May 31, 2012 8:42 pm

FENDER SKIRTS AND RAT FINKS

I know some of you will not understand this message, but I bet you know someone who might. I came across this phrase yesterday. 'FENDER SKIRTS.'


A term I haven't heard in a long time, and thinking about 'fender skirts' started me thinking about other words that quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice like 'curb feelers.'


And 'steering knobs.' (AKA) 'suicide knob,' 'neckers knobs.'


Since I'd been thinking of cars, my mind naturally went that direction first.

Any kids will probably have to find some older person over 50 to explain some of these terms to you.

Remember 'Continental kits?' They were rear bumper extenders and spare tire covers that were supposed to make any car as cool as a Lincoln Continental.



When did we quit calling them'emergency brakes?' At some point 'parking brake' became the proper term. But I miss the hint of drama that went with 'emergency brake.'


I'm sad, too, that almost all the old folks are gone who would call the accelerator the 'foot feed.' Many today do not even know what a clutch is or that thedimmer switch(and starter) used to be on the floor.


Didn't you ever wait at the street for your daddy to come home, so you could ride the 'running board' up to the house?


Here's a phrase I heard all the time in my youth but never anymore -'store-bought.' Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days. But once it was bragging material to have a store-bought dress or a store-bought bag of candy.


'Coast to coast' is a phrase that once held all sorts of excitement and now means almost nothing. Now we take the term 'world wide' for granted. This floors me.


On a smaller scale, 'wall-to-wall'was once a magical term in our homes. In the '50s, everyone covered his or her hardwood floors with, wow, wall-to-wall carpeting! Today, everyone replaces their wall-to-wall carpeting with hardwood floors. Go figure.



When was the last time you heard the quaint phrase'in a family way?' It's hard to imagine that the word 'pregnant' was once considered a little too graphic, a little too clinical for use in polite company, so we had all that talk about stork visits and 'being in a family way' or simply 'expecting.'

Apparently, 'brassiere' is a word no longer in usage. I said it the other day and my daughter cracked up. I guess it's just 'bra' now. 'Unmentionables' probably wouldn't be understood at all.

I always loved going to the 'picture show,' but I considered 'movie' an affectation.



Most of these words go back to the '50s, but here's a pure '60s word I came across the other day 'rat fink.' Ooh, what a nasty put-down!



Here's a word I miss - 'percolator.' That was just a fun word to say. And what was it replaced with 'Coffee maker.' How dull... Mr. Coffee, I blame you for this.



I miss those made-up marketing words that were meant to sound so modern and now sound so retro. Words like 'DynaFlow' and’ Electrolux.' Introducing the 1963 Admiral TV, now with'SpectraVision!'


Food for thought. Was there a telethon that wiped out lumbago? Nobody complains of that anymore. Maybe that's what Castor oil cured, because I never hear mothers threatening kids with Castor oil anymore.


Some words aren't gone, but are definitely on the endangered list. The one that grieves me most is'supper.' Now everybody says 'dinner.' Save a great word.
Invite someone to supper. Discuss fender skirts.
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Post by retired2 on Thu May 31, 2012 8:42 pm

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE



1. Money can not buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.



2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.



3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.



4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.



5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.
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Post by retired2 on Thu May 31, 2012 8:43 pm

People born before 1946 were called -
The Greatest Generation.

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called - The Baby Boomers.

People born between 1965 and 1979 are called - Generation X.

And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called - Generation Y.

Why do we call the last group - Generation Y ?

Y should I get a job?

Y should I leave home and find my own place?

Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?

Y should I clean my room?

Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?

Y should I buy any food?
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Post by retired2 on Thu May 31, 2012 8:43 pm

WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE!


A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good Morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners..."
''Go away!'' said the old lady. ''I'm broke and haven't got any money!'' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open... ''Don't be too hasty'' he said, ''not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
"Now if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
The old lady stepped back and said, "Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning!"
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Post by retired2 on Thu May 31, 2012 8:43 pm

A friend of mine was sitting on a lawn sunning and reading when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair.

“My goodness” he exclaimed, “you are quite old to be driving!”

“Yes” he replied, “ I am old enough that I don’t need a license anymore. The last time I went to my doctor he examined me, and asked if I had a driving licence. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the licence into pieces and threw them in the wastebasket.”

”You won’t be needing this anymore”, he said.

"So I thanked him and left.”
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