temperance sermon.

[retired2]

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.



With great emphasis he said,





'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'



With even greater emphasis he said,



'And if I hadAll the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'



And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said,



'And if I had all the whiskey in the world,

I'd take it and pour it into the river.’

Sermon complete, he sat down…



The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing,



'For our closing song, Let us sing,



Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'



Smile - life is too short not to!!

If this brightened your day

Don't let it stop here

Pass it on with a smile

Keep spreading the Cheer.







See you at the river!

Oh… and bring your own glass!!

[retired2]

A man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisle way and went to talk with the administrators.

The old man started to tilt slowly toward the left. A Doctor came by and said, "Let me help you." The Doctor piled several pillows on the left side of the old man so he would stay upright.

The older man started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright.

The old man started to lean forward when a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, the son returned.

"Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place."

The old man replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."