Grade 6 Science

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Grade 6 Science





The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,
'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?'



No one answered until little Mary stood up and said,
'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to
tell my parents,

and they will go and tell the Principal, who will then fire you!'

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again,... 'Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?'

Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her,
'Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!'



The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, 'Anybody?'

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said,

'The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the
pupil of the eye.'

Mrs. Parks said, 'Very good, Billy,' then turned to Mary and continued.



'As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:


One, you have a dirty mind.
Two, you didn't read your homework.
And three, one day you are going to be very, VERY disappointed.

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Golf Handicaps


A businessman was attending a conference in Africa . He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf and was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he could get on.

“Sure,” said the pro, “What’s your handicap?”

Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit. “Well, it’s 16,” said the businessman, “but what’s the relevance since I’ll be playing alone?”

“It’s very important for us to know,” said the pro, who then called a caddy.

“Go out with this gentleman,” said the pro, “his handicap is 16.”The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman’s bag and a large rifle. Again, the businessman was surprised, but decided to ask no questions. They arrived on the 1st hole, a par-4.

“It’s wise to avoid those trees on the left,” said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head.The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand. “That’s the Black Mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa . You’re lucky I was here with you.”

After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par-5. “Good to avoid those bushes on the right,” says the
caddy. Of course, the businessman’s ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy’s rifle once again, and a huge lion fell dead at his feet.

“I’ve saved your life again,” said the caddy.The 3rd hole was a par-3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman’s ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly.

“Why didn’t you kill it?” asked the man incredulously.

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the caddy. “This is the 17th handicap hole. You don’t get a shot here.”

And that, my golfing friends, is why you should never lie
about your handicap!

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WHY WOMEN CAN'T SLEEP
Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works?
Well.....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:


Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done,
a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

A man has only 2 balls, they consume all his thoughts and he sleeps like a baby.

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Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital.

Description: http://images53.fotki.com/v666/photos/4/1440364/10665070/17grinzoldmanhospnurse-vi.jpg

There was one nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning?"
or "Are we ready for our bath?"

Harold had had enough of this particular nurse. Next day at breakfast, he took the apple juice off the tray and put it in his bedside stand. When he was given a urine bottle to fill for testing, you know where the juice went!

Description: http://images15.fotki.com/v792/photos/4/1440364/10665070/17grinzUrine-vi.jpg

The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. "My, it seems we are a little cloudy today."

At this, Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time."

The nurse threw up!

DON'T MESS WITH 'OLD' PEOPLE.

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An Obituary printed in the London Times..... Absolutely Brilliant !!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for decades. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- The minority change to fit the majority;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not the children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place by experts. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do, in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer suntan lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a further beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home but the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few even realized he was gone.

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