CONDITIONAL FREE GIFT FROM REVENUE CANADA IN 2015.

[retired2]

CONDITIONAL FREE GIFT FROM REVENUE CANADA IN 2015.


The Canada Revenue Agency has announced that it will give away a free pencil
sharpener to all taxpayers who pay their taxes on time this year.
It can be placed on your desk as a constant reminder of the service they
provide to you each year.

[retired2]

The Villages Dating Ads


Dating Ads for Seniors found in a Florida Newspaper.
You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of
anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in
''The Villages'' Florida newspaper.

FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'),
Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
----------------------------------------------------
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
----------------------------------------------------
SERENITY NOW:
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and
meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together,
take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
----------------------------------------------------
WINNING SMILE :
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser
to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
----------------------------------------------------
BEATLES OR STONES ?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on
Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,
let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
----------------------------------------------------
MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday,
let's put our two heads together.
----------------------------------------------------
My favorite ad

MINT CONDITION :
Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair,
many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

[retired2]

Two guys, one old, one young,
are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,
"Sorry about that. I
'm looking for my wife, and I guess I
wasn't paying attention
t o where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a
coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little
desperate."
The old guy says,
"Well, maybe I can help you find her...
what does she look like?"
The young guy says,
"Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,
with red hair,
blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,
long legs, and is
wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, "Doesn't
matter, --- let's look for yours."
(ADORABLE)

[retired2]

An older gentleman was
on the operating table
awaiting surgery
and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the
anesthesia, he asked to speak
to his son.
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son;
do your best,
and just remember,
if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me,
your mother
is going to come and
live with you and your wife...."
(I LOVE IT!)

[Ruby Tuesday]

Love that last one ... The best!

[Sponsored content]