Amazing Amish Christmas Lights

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Amazing Amish Christmas Lights

These are amazing!


Scroll down to see the
Amish Christmas lights.







You know darn well that the Amish don't use electricity.

Fooling old people is so easy!

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MONEY BAGS

Glass takes one million years to decompose,
which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount
of times!

Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust,
even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years.

Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only
one end.

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water.
When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.

Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and
newspapers.

The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost
every English-speaking country in the world
to bring in the new year.

Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61
percent.

Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke
unless it's heated above 450F.

The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not
the ocean,
but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.

The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the
hand of man.

Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air
density.

The University of Alaska spans four time zones.

The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.

In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional
proposal of marriage.
Catching it meant she accepted.

Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song
Happy Birthday.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

A comet's tail always points away from the sun.

The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the
disease it was intended to prevent.

Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is
why it is found in some medicines.

The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when
knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you
can see stars, even in the middle of the day.

When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go.
The first sense lost is sight.

In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.

Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.

Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per
hundred grams.

The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.

The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.

Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than
15,000 meters.

Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy.

Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they
could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge
down.

Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.

For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess
fuel are needed at lift-off.

The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the
elements.

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Patty looks at the frog in
Disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is
Kermit Jagger, his dad is
Mick Jagger, and that it's
Okay, he knows the bank
Manager.
Patty explains that he will
Need to secure the loan with
Some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have
This," and produces a tiny
Porcelain elephant, about an
Inch tall, bright pink and
Perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains
That she'll have to consult
With the bank manager and
Disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and
Says, "There's a frog called
Kermit Jagger out there who
Claims to know you and wants
To borrow $30,000, and he
Wants to use this as
Collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink
Elephant. "I mean, what in
The world is this?"



The bank manager looks back
At her and says.

"It's a knickknack, Patty
Whack. Give the frog a loan,
His old man's a Rolling
Stone."



(You're singing it, aren't you?
Yeah, I know you are..)

Never take life too seriously!

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"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the
responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could
produce beautiful children beyond compare.

With that as his mission he began to search for the
perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three
stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his
breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck
and asked for permission to marry one of them.

The Redneck simply replied, " They're lookin' to get
married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em
over and pick the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the
Redneck asked for the man's opinion.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not
that you can hardly notice ... pigeon-toed."

The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one
of the other girls; so the man went out with the second
daughter.

The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.

"Well, "the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not
that you can hardly tell,...... cross-eyed."

The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third
girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,

"She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.
When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was
the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed
to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering
the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the Redneck, "she was just a weeeee bit,
not that you could hardly tell ......
pregnant when you met her."

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Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving from my hospital bed!

Hold my email until further notice, for I am in the hospital.

I was brutally attacked by a woman on an elevator.

A witness got her photo.

See below



I was in the elevator when she got in. I was casually staring at

her boobs when she said, "Would you please press 1"

So I did...and I don't remember much afterwards.

May be out of the hospital in a few days.

[observer]

I just want to go back and challenge that statement about a banana not being able to propogate itself except at the hand of man - there must have been a time when it could - before man figured out "Hmmm this is good. Think I'll plant another one of these! Wonder how I should do that?"

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