Mickey Mouse

[retired2]

Mickey Mouse visits his lawyer one day.
He says to his lawyer, "Tell me, what’s the current status with the divorce to Minnie?"
His Lawyer replies, "Well I've got to tell you Mickey, I have a bit of a problem with your case.
You can't just divorce your wife because she's stupid."
Mickey turns to him and says "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said she was f***ing Goofy!"

[Rick Wisson]

[retired2]

Mike was going to be married to Karen
so his Father sat him down for a little chat.
He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite,
I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother,
and said, 'Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
So....On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen,
'Here, try these on..!
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'
Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike.
She said, 'Here, you try on mine !
Mike did and said, 'I can't get into your panties.'
Karen said, 'Exactly.
And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'

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