Daughter:

[retired2]

Daughter:

"Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.
I am in Australia and he lives in the UK.
We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on
Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of
relationship through Viber.

Dad, I need your blessings and good wishes."







   Father:



   "Wow!  Really!!



   Then get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon
and pay through Paypal.



   And if you are fed up with your husband....sell him on Ebay".

[Ruby Tuesday]

The new world. Can't say it's better, but it's new.

The dating websites are all the rage now. People use them like crazy.

[Rick Wisson]

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator.
"What are you doing?" asked the mother.

"Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married so this is pretty much my husband."

The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head. The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room, found his daughter using the vibrator.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I'm 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband."

The father walked out of the room shaking his head.

The next day, the mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand and the vibrator sitting on the end table watching the football game on TV.

"What on earth are you doing?" she cried. The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching football with my son-in-law

[retired2]

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an
electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the
couple on their wedding night.

The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a
chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised
it would be memorable.

The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the grooms
buddies received the following note:

"Dear Friends,
We didn't mind the bed slats being sawed.
The electric shock was only a minor setback.
But I swear,
I'm going to kill the bastard who put local anaesthesia in the condom!!

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