Just thinking.

[retired2]

Just thinking....


I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.
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I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.
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You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.
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Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
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You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
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I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
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I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row
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I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning
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Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?

[gale force]

John/Jim.........such a better choice!!

[Ruby Tuesday]

Haha, when I was a kid I used to worry about an intruder being behind the shower curtains!

[Rick Wisson]

A couple decided to go to Alaska for a romantic weekend. When they got to the cabin it was cold so the wife asked her husband to go chop some wood for that fire place. He came in after 5 minutes and told his wife that his hands were cold, so she said her put your hands between my thighs to warm them. So he did and went back outside to finish chopping wood. He came in after another 5 minutes and said "Honey, my hands are cold again." So she tells him here put your hands between my thighs to warm them. So he did and then he went back out to chop some more wood. Five minutes passed and he went in again and said, "Honey, my hands are cold again." She then said, "Damn don't your ears ever get cold?"

[retired2]

    

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