questions about famous quotes.

[retired2]

The teacher was asking her class questions about famous quotes.



Who said: 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up:

"Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.
"Very good!

Who said: 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"

Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing.
"Let's try one a bit more difficult.
Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country'?"

Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Japs."
"Who said that? I want to know right now !" …she angrily demanded.

Little Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks, "All right! Now who said that ?"
Again, Little Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit! If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"

Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004."

The teacher fainted.

As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're screwed!"
Little Akio said quietly,
"USA hockey team before they play the Canadians "

[retired2]

Condom factory burns down in USA

>
The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama  was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency!
I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated, the entire USA supply of
condoms will be used up by the end of the week."
 
Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those  unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some condoms in from Mexico
 
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock.. What about Canada?"
 
Obama: "Okay, I'll call Stephen Harper and tell him we need five
million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."

Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the  first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of
condoms,10 inches long and 3 inches thick, exactly as requested... all colored with red maple leaves with small writing on each one:


MADE IN CANADA - SIZE: SMALL