FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

[retired2]

This is priceless !!
If you haven’t read the book.. 50 Shades of Grey, you can still get a
chuckle from this poem. For any that do not know....a “zimmer” is the
British term for a senior’s walker....Zimmer is the manufacturer’s name.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!


Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

[observer]

Has anyone here read "Fifty Shades of Gray"? I haven't and can't seem to get motivated to want to.

[kishgo]

I'm with you Observer. No desire at all! Oops, isn't the book all about, wink wink, Desires?

[observer]

OK Kishgo - if you have "no desire" - maybe it's time to read the book! LOL

[kishgo]

Perhaps you are right Observer! TWO of us would have to read it!

[retired2]

One should read ir out loud to the other:D  

[observer]

Hmm... sounds like you might be speaking from experience, retired!

[Slowfood]

We have a copy. My wife got through most of the first book and found 2 things. One it was boring to her, second because of her present and past line of work she found the "grooming" of the woman to be a sex slave by the man too much like a pedophile grooming a victim.
I will look at it and see of I can find out what the fuss was about.
Ok had a glance at first book. Has some descriptive erotica. Myself and my partners have never been interested in the dominant/submissive world of sex.
Not that interesting to me either. I see my wife's point about the dominant making all the rules and the sub having no say. If that floats your boat OK, but not for me.

[observer]

Thanks for the input, slowfood. May have peaked my interest a bit to find out what it's all about personally.

[Slowfood]

We used to watch a show called "Kink" on one of the educational channels.
Some of it was interesting and had good information, but there were so many people shown who could only get off by first suffering a lot of pain.Don't get it.

[observer]

So many things a lot of us "don't get" about other people, I guess. Certainly "don't get" pedophiles - but I guess they're just wired that way. Don't get the heroin addicts - yet I certainly use alcohol. Don't get what people see in a lot of these reality shows. Who actually watches "Duck Dynasty" for example? Yet there must be scores who do cause it's become a mini-empire, I understand. Don't get how people can watch - and donate to - the evangelists on TV, yet they have their own channels! Don't get how so many people can still be supporting Rob Ford - even after he's shown himself to be a bully, a spoiled child, an associate of criminals, and generally an embarrassment to the country, as well as to Toronto.

There really is a LOT that I just don't get!

[gale force]

You are not alone Observer.

[Slowfood]

I heard that the assorted "Hillbilly' type shows enjoy a following that other shows can only dream of.
I can't see how those hoarders cannot know their home is full.

[Ruby Tuesday]

I read it, and really liked it. I started the second book and didn't find it as interesting, so it's actually parked in the closet.

And no, my bedroom life isn't like that ... Never into that myself either.

[observer]

So, is it all sex, as I've been led to believe?

[Slowfood]

The back cover says "Erotic Romance for Mature Audiences"
It is a romance, boy meets girl etc. Boy has unusual tastes as far as lovemaking.Girl is intrigued and attracted.
There is sex in the book, well described. (I liked the Ben-Wah balls encounter myself.)
It is well written too.
Not all sex, we learn about the characters and what drives them,what haunts them.
Discipline and Bondage, Dominance and Submission,S&M are just not my style.
Book 2 and 3 are around here someplace,just haven't been able to find them.

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