'What they thought of beer.'

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A handful of 7-year-old children were asked, 'What they thought of beer.'
Some interesting responses....


'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.' --Tim, 7 years old

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television
when he is asleep, so beer is nice.'
--Melanie, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and
takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.'
--Grady, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink
the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.'
--Toby, 7 year old

'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes,
so he shouldn't have too much.'
--Sarah, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances..
One time he danced right into the pool.'
--Lilly, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on
the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'
--Ethan, 7 years old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'
--Shirley, 7 years old

AND THE BEST RESPONSE:

'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father..
Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense."

---Jack, 7 years old

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Puppies

https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=182839535205172

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New English word



this is a recently "coined" new word found on T-shirts on eBay: Read this one over slowly and absorb the facts that are within this definition! I love this word and believe that it will become a recognized English word. Finally, a word to describe our current political situation.

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Cosmetic Surgery



A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY,"
where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and
can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand
new face lift.

Of course, the woman wanted "The Key."

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the
effects were wonderful. She remained young looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two
problems.

"All these years, everything has been working just fine.
I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results.
But now I've developed two annoying problems:

First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get
rid of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are
your breasts."

She said, "No point asking about the beard then..........."

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Blond Riding a Horse
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She

tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune

. . . Frank, the WalMart greeter, sees her dilemma, and unplugs the horse.

And you thought all they did was say Hello.

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You don't have to own a cat or even like cats to appreciate this one!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scooted back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife went on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night, so she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon, saying 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.' A few minutes later, I got into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching
me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again!' The silence in the cab was deafening.

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