My dogs Secret...

[retired2]

My dogs Secret...

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Doctor once a year for his check-up, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighbourhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. He makes no contribution to the running or maintenance of the house.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out, work hard, and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head...


I think my dog might be a Canadian Senator!

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What Are Friends For?



A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.

His wife screams at him: "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What did you bring him home for?”

"Because he's thinking of getting married..."

[retired2]

Kids, you can't kill 'em, right ?

My wife hosted a dinner party for family far and wide and everyone was
encouraged to bring all their children as well.

All during dinner my four-year-old niece stared at me sitting across from
her.

The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.

I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, patted my hair in place
but nothing stopped her from staring at me.

I tried my best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for me.

I finally asked her "Why are you staring at me?

" Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet
for her response.

My little niece said "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a fish."


Harold & Roger, two Newfie Engineers, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walks by and asks what they were doing.

'We're supposed to find the height of dis here flagpole says Harold, but we gots no flippin ladder'

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement and proudly announced 'twenty one feet, six inches' and walked away.

Roger just shakes his head and laughed, ' lord tunderin Harold, just like a woman, we want the height and she gives us the damn length'.

[retired2]

British Ad...


If You have the balls ...

pass this on to someone you care about.

Watch to the end please.

A British Commercial you won't see here!



http://adsoftheworld.com/media/tv/mcac_rhian_touches_herself

[retired2]

A SMALL GLIMMER OF HOPE IN THE GLOOM !

Description: description:

'Viagra' is now available

in tea bags.

It doesn't enhance your sexual performance

but it does stop your biscuit going soft.

[Sponsored content]