As You Slide Down the Banister of Life -- Remember:

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As You Slide Down the Banister of Life -- Remember:


1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called ... 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.


4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant Flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path toYour door is if you're in the bathroom.


6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes, Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.


8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.


10. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment ... for enjoying sex.

Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you feel ... because those that matter... don't mind ... and those that mind ...don't matter!

And As You Slide Down that Banister of Life You Should Pray That All The Splinters Are Pointed The Other Way...

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Scam on older men!!!

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works; Two nice looking, college-age girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen Dec. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 29th. Also Jan. 1st, 4th, 8th, twice on the 16th &17th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of their stores. Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart.

So please, send this on to all the retired men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon

[retired2]

This is super....only takes a minute...but read first before clicking




Italian Auction
A Chinese Ming Vase is up for auction. The bidding opens at a
half-million Euro. Bidding is brisk and each bidder is clearly identified
as each raises the bid by 100,000 Euro. (The exchange rate at auction time
was 1 Euro = $1.43.) Within seconds, the bidding stalls at one million
Euro, and the gasp from the crowd identifies the excitement that prevails
in the room. The successful bidder is the last one who bid one million, and
the auctioneer counts down the bid, "Going once, going twice, and sold to
the gentleman sitting in front of me for one million Euro."
Now, you are going to have to see the video for yourself. The auctioneer
is exuberant. The pace is fast. This is how an auction should be run. Note
the excitement on the auctioneer's face after the final bid.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e0yZCLjwfU

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