Husbands & Wives

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Husbands & Wives

Post by retired2 on Mon Jan 18, 2016 8:56 pm


Husbands & Wives


*Avocados*

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time.

(JEV: Makes sense if you are an Engineer!!)

*Water in the carburetor...*

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out.

Where's the car?

WIFE: "In the pool"



THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated.



*The Phone*

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.

Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.

"Hi Meg," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"

Meg replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand..."

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at WalMart?"



*HE MUST PAY...*

Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."

Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you!



*Today's Short Reading from "The Bible"...*

Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."

Then God made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!
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