Reunionsl

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Reunionsl

Post by retired2 on Mon Jun 22, 2015 9:20 am

Reunionsl




Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since high school.

They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualised kisses, she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful
daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples, Florida.

Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim.
They run a tropical bird park in Kansas and grow their own vegetables.
Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage
facility.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
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Re: Reunionsl

Post by retired2 on Mon Jun 22, 2015 9:21 am

Two well dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in Brisbane Airport Terminal.
The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man.
The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Queensland.
After a little while the Victorian woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from Mount Isa commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."
Again, the lady from Mount Isa commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman went on, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
Yet again, the Mount Isa lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked , "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Mount Isa lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my Lord! What could they teach you ?"
The Mount Isa lady responded, "Well as an example... instead of saying, "Who gives a F---!!!!
I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?".
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