From Arizona Republic Newspaper

by retired2 Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:27 pm

From Arizona Republic Newspaper

Canada basks in its golden retribution at Sochi Olympics

By Bob Young, columnist azcentral sports Fri Feb 21, 2014 6:29 PM

Steve Nash warned us eight years ago that the Canadians were coming. We just made jokes about it.

“Do you remember that secret U.S. plan to invade Canada that was revealed? This is our counterattack,” Nash said, referring to something called the Joint Army and Navy Basic War Plan — Red, which outlined a scenario for invading Canada back in the 1930s.
Of course, we never actually acted on that plan. Most likely our national leaders just figured Canadians are so polite that if we ever actually want Canada, well, all we have to do is ask. Turns out they’re not so polite after all.
Their Olympic women’s hockey team teased our poor American ladies, letting them take a 2-0 lead and get so close to Olympic gold that they could practically bite the medal. Then the Canadians stole it away in their own version of a miracle on ice.
And Friday in Sochi the Canadian men poured salt in an open wound, relegating our hockey team to the bronze-medal game against Finland. The Canadians shut out the Americans 1-0 and will face Sweden in the gold-medal game.
Don’t look now, but the Canadians are nipping at our heels in the total medal count, too. Only 19 of theirs are silver or gold. We’ve got as many gold medals, but our one-medal overall edge is built on 11 bronze medallions. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Of course, we’re not going to lose a lot of sleep over slipping up in a little curling competition or a speed skating event.
But have you noticed that the Canadians produced the top overall pick in the NBA draft last summer, and if Kansas forward Andrew Wiggins picks it up a little Canada may produce the top pick for a second year in a row? Who would ever have believed that could happen? Even if it looks like Cleveland’s choice of Anthony Bennett last year was a big-time goof. There currently are 11 Canadians playing in the league, including Nash who won two MVP awards and finished second another year with Phoenix.
Oh, they’re coming after us in America’s pastime, too.
Reds All-Star Joey Votto won the NL MVP back in 2010 and Colorado’s Justin Mourneau won the AL MVP in 2006 when he was with the Twins. Canada has given baseball three MVPs in all, a rookie of the year, a couple of Cy Young winners and a Hall of Famer — Ontario-born Fergie Jenkins.
Maybe we should have seen all of this coming.
We were drawn into a false sense of security when we saw the antics of Toronto’s crack-head mayor Rob Ford. They sent Justin Bieber here to undermine our young ones, clearly a ploy because nobody could possibly be that dumb in real life. Evidently we’re stuck with him, too, because a Chicago electronic billboard proclaimed that the loser of Friday’s hockey semi-final has to keep him.
It’s probably no coincidence that Canada’s currency hit a high a few years ago while we just happened to be in the midst of a real-estate crash. They turned our upside-down houses into their cozy winter homes.
It’s loonie, we’re telling you.
Hey, all you had to do was hear all of the Canadian golf fans cheering for Graham DeLaet at the Waste Management Phoenix Open to know we’re being over-run.
And they’re so darned nice.
What could be more endearing than the Canadian women’s curling team bringing along their own toaster because they like to have toast and peanut butter for breakfast before every match? Just don’t forget they toasted everybody to win gold.
Yep, while we’ve been focusing on our southern border, the real invasion is coming, as quietly as a falling snowflake, from the north.