Germans and Old Beer Bottles

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*What do Germans do with their beer bottles?*

              *                **Hilarious!*



             

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"Morning Sex "

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast,
wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly,
"You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or
this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment,
I embraced her and then Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,
her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,"What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

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My new neighbour

He's single...
He lives right across the street.
I can see his condo from my deck.
I watched as he got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when he walked across the street and up my driveway and
knocked on my door.
I rushed to open it, he looks at me and says,
"I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good
time, get drunk, and make love all night long!
Are you busy tonight?"
I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free, I have no plans at all!"
He said, "Great! Could you watch my dog?"

Being a senior citizen, really sucks!

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