MY EX-WIFE THE PILOT

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MY EX-WIFE THE PILOT


My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Hamilton because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren't with her.

The preliminary report, cit ed pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating).

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.

She was really lucky.

[observer]

SHOULD have seen it coming! LOL

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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have
enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating :

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3.Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.

5.Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only
five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single
"This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7.The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9.Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in
the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS- I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call
"customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign
language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!

Actually I do have to press the start button to turn off the engine --Dodge

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Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog. Look at the picture and then read the sales pitch below.

Dog For Sale . Free to good home. Excellent guard dog.
Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name, Ho Lee Schitt.

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