The Swedish blonde.

[retired2]

The Swedish blonde.
 

A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden.   With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through some dumb-blonde jokes.   Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting:   "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blond women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all Blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but ALL women in general ... pathetically all in the name of humor!"   The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells:   "You stay out of this! ... I'm talking to that little a$$hole on your lap!"

[retired2]

[retired2]

MEN!!!! 

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, 
he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the
washing machine?'  

'It depends,' I replied.   'What does it say on your shirt?' 

He yelled back,Tiger Cats! 

And they say blondes are dumb.... 

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world..'  
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you........ 

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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.  
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? 
A: A rumor  
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Dear Lord,  
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.  
AMEN  
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Q: Why do little boys whine?  
A: They are practicing to be men.  
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? 
A: Trustworthy..  
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Q:  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?  
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.  
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?  
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe...  
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?  
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals' 

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