Donations for the Senate

[retired2]

Donations for the Senate
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Ottawa.  Nothing was moving.  Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire Senate, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.  We are going from car to car, collecting donations."   

"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks.
 
The man replies, "Roughly a litre.

"

[retired2]

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word, they asked him.

"You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend ... What's the deal?"
4th guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said: 'Fishing or Sex?' and she said: "Wear sun-block!"