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Post by retired2 Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:05 am


QUOTE FOR TODAY:

Life is like a penis ---

simple, relaxed and hanging freely.


It's women who make it hard !!
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Post by retired2 Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:06 am

In 1923, Who Was:

1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6.. Great Bear of Wall Street?



These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days.

Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them.





The Answers:


1. The president of the largest steel company.
Charles Schwab,

Died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company,
Edward Hopson,

Went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE,
Richard Whitney,

Was released from prison
To die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator,
Arthur Cooger,

Died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of
The Bank of International Settlement,

Shot himself.

6 The Great Bear of Wall Street,
Cosabee Livermore,

Also committed suicide

However,

In that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion
And the winner of the most important golf tournament,
The US Open,
was

Gene Sarazen.

What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92,
Died in 1999 at the age of 95.
He was financially secure
At the time of his death.

The Moral:

Fuck work.
Play golf.
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Post by retired2 Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:10 am

another quote for the day Att00026
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Post by retired2 Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:11 am

another quote for the day Att113
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Post by retired2 Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:53 pm

alk with me as I age......

I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my forwarding
it will be worth the effort. Walk with me by the water - worth the read.

A BEAUTIFUL POEM ABOUT GROWING OLDER:

another quote for the day Att00027

Shit, I forgot the words.
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Post by retired2 Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:15 pm

Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family ..................

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns .... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man.



"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up' "?
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Post by retired2 Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:15 pm

GEORGE: Your new secretary is very sexy...

BILL: Thanks! She's actually a robot, named Monica ... If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters. Will work as long as you like, no complaining, no sick days, no medical, no dental......



I'll lend her to you for a day & you can see how functional and efficient she is.



Next day, George called Bill from the hospital & shouted:



Bill… You bastard! You didn't tell me that the hole between Monica's legs is a Pencil Sharpener...
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Post by retired2 Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:35 pm

It's just dawned on me....

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighbourhood in a house that is much larger than he needs and he is not

required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick .......
I think my dog is a member of Parliament!
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