- Bonfire Tilter
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Join date : 2012-02-24
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|Dear God: It's me, the Dog |
Dear God: Is it on purpose that Our
Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
But seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after
The jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
The colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE
Named for a Dog? How often do you
See a cougar riding around? We love a nice car
Ride! Would it be so hard to rename
The 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him,
Is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs,
Less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
6. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
7. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
9. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
10. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.
11. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God:
When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?