• Definition of an Irish husband: Hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he'll kill any man who does.
• Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
• The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent.
• A lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?" "Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
• Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty." "That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?”
• Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?""No," said himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time.”
• Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it. Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time? Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home .
• Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" he said. "Send an ambulance, me wife's goin' to have a baby!" "Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked."No, this is her husband speakin'.”
• "O'Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?""It did surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!”
• Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
- Bonfire Tilter
- Posts : 5980
Join date : 2012-02-24
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