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Post by retired2 Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:53 pm


No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Redskins,
this is funny.

Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he
published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page...
I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially
charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional
football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay,
nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness
and courtesy, we must move forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians.
If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin
color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks
from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for
the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that
cost this country so many young men's lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports
team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles
Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are
talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay
Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children.
The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong
message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood
epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this
travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as
they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.
As a die hard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest
it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic
teams to something other than "the Beavers (especially when they play Southern California.
Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???)
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for the Redskins
name I would suggest they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent
their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress.
retired2
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Post by retired2 Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:56 pm

Kinda makes me wish I were Irish, huh?


A bit of Black Irish Humour



IN CASE YOU NEED ONE.



LIVING WILL FORM



I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept

alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my

fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass

ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or

lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.



If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for at least one

of the following:

______Vodka Rocks ______ Margarita ____ Scotch ______ Old Fashion_______

Bloody Mary ______a Gin and Tonic _______a Tee Time ______ Steak ______ a

bottle of fine wine ______ Lobster or crab legs ______the remote control

______a bowl of ice cream ______the sports page_______or Chocolate, it

should be presumed that I won't ever get any better.



When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed

person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and

call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz

Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my

friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.



Signature:__________________________ Date: __________________________



NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The

patients are happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them

don't even need embalming when their time comes...
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Post by retired2 Mon Dec 08, 2014 4:58 pm


An Irishman's First Drink With His Son . . .


I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.


Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.


I got him a Guinness Stout. He didn't like it – so I drank it. Then I got him a Murphy's; he didn't like it either, so I drank it.


It was the same with Beamish and O'Hara's and Kilkenny.

By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey . . .


I could hardly push the stroller back home.
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Post by retired2 Mon Dec 08, 2014 5:01 pm

Terrorism High Alert Causing Me Problems

When I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the
cashier said, “Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this
security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed.

After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I found out
that she was referring to how I should position my credit card.

Nonetheless, I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions a little clearer for seniors.




I hate this getting older stuff.

I hear this happened in Florida
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Post by retired2 Mon Dec 08, 2014 5:02 pm

OPP Travel Warning


Travel warning leading up to the
Christmas Season in Ontario!
I just wanted to give you a warning that if you are planning on visiting Ontario, and
will be in the Toronto area on Highway 401, the Ontario Provincial Police
are cracking down on speeders.

For the first offense they are giving two tickets to a Toronto Maple Leafs
hockey game. If you are stopped the second time they make you use them!!!!
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Post by observer Mon Dec 08, 2014 5:53 pm

All good ones!
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Post by Rick Wisson Mon Dec 08, 2014 5:54 pm

went to the doctor's office the other day and found out that my new doctor is young, female and drop dead gorgeous. I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it out.

I said, "My wife thinks that my dick tastes funny."
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