A young girl

[retired2]

A young girl started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.
The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.

She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.
"Look," he said. "My regular customers don't ask for condoms; they'll ask for a 310 [small], a 320[medium] or a 330[large].
The word condom won't even be used.

The first day was fine but on the second day a coloured bloke came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "350"...
The girl panicked. She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament.

"Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs" her boss told her.
She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs.
"Yes " she said, "He's got one hanging there...!"

The boss said "Go back in and give him £3.50. He's the window cleaner!"

[retired2]

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

[retired2]

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
You're going to have trouble with it

[retired2]

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

[retired2]

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'

The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'

The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, " Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar

[growler]

you are just wanting to get me to change my diaper again,right ?

[retired2]

Well ------ as long as I don't have to do it

[Sponsored content]