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The Black Bra

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The Black Bra Empty The Black Bra

Post by retired2 on Sat Jan 19, 2013 5:21 pm

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 30+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend :
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

(you are going to love this..)

" What's for dinner, Zorro?"

Bonfire Tilter

Posts : 5978
Join date : 2012-02-24

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The Black Bra Empty Re: The Black Bra

Post by retired2 on Sat Jan 19, 2013 5:27 pm

An Ottawa 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of 'WHY' our country (CANADA) is in trouble!

1. I had a New Brunswick member of parliament ask for an aisle seat so
that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an

2. I got a call from a Manitoba legislature staffer, who wanted to go to
Cape Town . I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is
in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa .''
His response -- click..

3. A senior B.C. deputy-minister called, furious about a Florida package we
did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very
THIN state!!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a federal minister's wife who asked, ''Is it possible
to see Russia from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car
in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour
layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. A Calgary council member called last week. She needed to know how it
was possible that her flight from Calgary left at 8:30 a.m., and got to
Vancouver at 8:33 a.m .

I explained that Alberta was an hour ahead of B.C. , but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went
fast, and she bought that.

7. A Qu├ębec MP, called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I
said, 'No, why do you ask ?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying
laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is
(FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination
tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator from Saskatchewan called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be
cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a rookie MPP from Ontario who asked, ''How
do I know which plane to get on ?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them .''

10. A senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do
I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, Smarty!"

11 A senior federal government official called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those. ''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her
this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!''

12 A Newfoundland & Labrador minister called to make reservations, ''I want
to go from St John's to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man .

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
mean Buffalo , do you ?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in !

Could ANYONE be this DUMB?


I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you
just gotta spread it around .
Bonfire Tilter

Posts : 5978
Join date : 2012-02-24

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