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Post by retired2 on Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:44 pm

A Daughter is visiting her father and is helping in the kitchen.
She asks: Tell me dad, how are you managing with the new I-Pad we gave you for your birthday?

This is in German but that's all you really need to know. You'll get the rest:

http://www.snotr.com/video/8965/
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Post by retired2 on Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:45 pm

IT'S SO HOT in ONTARIO .....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground......the trees are whistling for the dogs......the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.....hot water comes from both taps......you can make sun tea instantly......you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron......the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly......you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each hand)......you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window......you actually burn your hand opening the car door......you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M......your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage......the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter......the cows are giving evaporated milk......farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs. IT'S SO DRY in ONTARIOthat the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!
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Post by retired2 on Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:45 pm

There was a bit of confusion at the Wal-Mart store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to my member of Parliament about security measures running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!
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