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Post by retired2 on Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:09 pm

A real woman is a man's best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down.

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him

after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to

live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to

his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most

handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident,

sexy, seductive and invincible...




No wait...Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit.
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Post by retired2 on Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:10 pm

Beware of underwear dust!


One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker, 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!
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