Dear God: It's me, the Dog

[retired2]

Dear God: It's me, the Dog        Dear God: Is it on purpose that Our Names  are spelled the same, only in reverse?           Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, But seldom, if ever, smell one another?          Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?          Dear God: Why are there cars named after The jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, The colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE Named for a Dog? How often do you See a cougar riding around? We love a nice car Ride! Would it be so hard to rename The 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?        Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, Is he still a bad Dog?      Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy  fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?     Dear God: More meatballs, Less spaghetti,  please.        Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?      Dear God: Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog: 1.  I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up. 2.  I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3.  The sofa is not a 'face towel'.  4.  The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 5.  I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 6.  Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. 7.  I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. 8.  I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 9.  I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 10.  I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch. 11.  The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.      P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?