Cruising

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Cruising

Post by retired2 on Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:49 am

DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 

All packed for the cruise, all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter, The Late Bloomers, decided on this "all-girls" trip.  It will be my first one. and I can't wait! 
 


DEAR DIARY - DAY 2 
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today, seems like a very nice man. 

DEAR DIARY - DAY 3 

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit a few golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored, and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive. 

DEAR DIARY - DAY 4 

Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with  him in his own cabin. Had  a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband. 
 
DEAR DIARY - DAY 5 

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks, Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined.  He said if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship! I was shocked. 

DEAR DIARY - DAY 6 

Today I saved 2,600 lives. Twice.
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Re: Cruising

Post by retired2 on Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:50 am

This happened at a New York Airport . This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl.
 
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled.

A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said:-
"I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied: "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed.

He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear:
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.

"May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.

"We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. 
If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14."
 
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said: "Screw You!"
 
Without flinching, she smiled and said:

"I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."
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Re: Cruising

Post by retired2 on Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:51 am

Proof reading is a dying art.....


.....
 
 


Could this be another reason why the print media is disappearing? 
Most of their proofreading is done by a Spell Checker feature.


 

 
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say?    
   

   
[size=32]Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter[/size]   
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!  They put in a correction the next day.   

   
[size=35]Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says[/size]   
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[size=35]Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers[/size]     
  -----------------------------------------------------------   
[size=35]Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over[/size]      
   
---------------------------------------------------------------  

[size=35]Miners Refuse to Work after Death[/size]   
 
------------------------------------------------------  

[size=35]Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant[/size]      
--------------------------------------------   
[size=35]War Dims Hope for Peace[/size]      
------------------------------------------------------------ 
 
  [size=35]If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile[/size]   
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
[size=35]Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures[/size]      
--------------------------------------------------------------- 
[size=35]Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;[/size]  [size=35] Police Suspect Homicide[/size]       

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

[size=35]Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges[/size]      
   
    ----------------------------------------------------------   
[size=35]Man Struck By Lightning:[/size]  [size=35] Faces Battery Charge [/size]   
----------------------------------------------  
[size=35]New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger[/size]     [size=35]Test Group[/size]      
 
-----------------------------------------------   

[size=35]Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [/size]   

 
  -------------------------------------------------    
[size=35]Kids Make Nutritious Snacks[/size]      
************************************   
[size=35]Local  High School[/size]    [size=35]Dropouts[/size]  [size=35] Cut in Half [/size]   
*************************************************** 
[size=35]Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors[/size]      

   *******************************************      
[size=48]And the winner is...[/size]      
[size=35]Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead[/size]      
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