Things that I trust more than ...

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Things that I trust more than ...

Post by retired2 on Sat Apr 25, 2015 10:33 pm

Things that I trust more than ...
 
 
I think I would add Clinton.
 
 
Things I trust more than Justin Trudeau (Federally) or Kathleen Wynne (Provincially):
 
* Mexican tap water
* A rattlesnake with a "pet me" sign
* OJ Simpson showing me his knifecollection
* A fart when I have diarrhea
* An elevator ride with Ray Rice
* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby
* Michael Jackson's Doctor
* An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran
* A Palestinian on a motorcycle
* Gas station Sushi
* A Jimmy Carter economic plan
* Brian Williams news reports
* Loch Ness monster sightings
* Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton
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Re: Things that I trust more than ...

Post by retired2 on Sat Apr 25, 2015 10:34 pm

Your morning smile…
  -----------------------------
              *A Newfoundland painter by the name of Skipper Drover, while
not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a number of
years, his fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming
to him in Long Harbour for his paintings.*



*One day, a very attractive young woman pulled up to his house in a stretch
limo and asked Skipper if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone
had made this request and it had Skipper a bit perturbed.*

*The beautiful lady told him that money was no object. In fact, she was
willing to pay him up to $5,000 cash.*



*Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Skipper asked the lady to
wait while he went in the house and conferred with Rose, his missus.*



*In a few minutes he returned and said to the lady, "T'would be me pleasure
to paint yer portrait, missus. The wife says it's okay.*



*I'll paint ya in da nude, but I have ta leave me socks on so I have a
place to wipe me brushes".*
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Re: Things that I trust more than ...

Post by Rick Wisson on Mon Apr 27, 2015 11:25 am

A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression "I presume". One little girl held up her hand and said: "Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes and I presumed that the dishwasher was broken." "Very good" said the teacher. Another one said: "This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage, I presume that the BMW wouldn't start." "That's excellent" says the teacher. Little Johnny at the back of the classroom gets up and says: "Yesterday I saw grandpa leave the house with a newspaper under his arm and headed for the pasture, I presume that....... "The teacher interrupted him and said, "I stopped you because you have no idea what your grandfather was going to do,so you can't presume anything." Johnny says, "Please Teacher, let me finish my sentence." The teacher says, "Very well. Continue.""As I was saying, I saw my grandpa heading for the pasture with a newspaper under his arm. I presume he was going for a crap because he can't read."
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