Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway.

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Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway.

Post by retired2 on Mon Mar 23, 2015 11:10 pm

Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway.

Linda Burnett, 26, a resident of Toronto was visiting her in-laws
and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the
driveway with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands
behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car.
He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange.
He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot
in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because
the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud
noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and
thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.
Linda is a blonde, a Liberal, and a Trudeau supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.
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Re: Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway.

Post by retired2 on Mon Mar 23, 2015 11:10 pm

Greek Legal System



THE LEGAL SYSTEM!!

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court in Greece; but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied:

"Your Honor, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?"



DON'T LAUGH...... HE WON!!
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Re: Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway.

Post by retired2 on Mon Mar 23, 2015 11:11 pm


Chinese Sex
There was an american man who lived in China and when he was there he had a lot of sex and never used a condom the entire time he was there.
Then he returned to America and one morning he woke up and noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis.the man freaked out.
He went to the doctor.

The doctor said "I have never seen anything like this before. We will need to run some tests."
So they ran some tests and he said come back in 3 days for your test results.

The man came back in 3 days and the doctor said "I have some bad news.you have a disease called pongolion HP. It is very uncommon here and we now little about it. I'm sorry sir but we will need to amputate your penis."
The man was horrified.

He went to a Chinese doctor thinking he would know more about it.
The doctor said "oh yes, pongolion HP, very ware. yes" said the Chinese Doctor.
The american doctor wants to amputate my penis.
"Stupid a american doctah, make more money that way, no need amputate."
"Oh thank god" said the man.
"Yes,wait 2 weeks, fall off by itself."
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